This is not the happy go jolly blog post about the holidays you may be expecting. This is a depression blog entry so click off now if you are jolly. I am in a depressed state of mind, have been for about three days now. All I do is eat, sleep, and surf the net – looking for that one salvation that can drag me out of the mire. I haven’t found it yet nor will I ever find it on the internet. The answer lies within.
I have never been one to dread the Christmas holiday season. In fact, it was my favorite. Life has dealt some blows in the least 2 years that has been hard for me to swallow. To date I don’t know how my kids will see gifts under the tree, despite the fact that they are in absolute glee of pending Christmas presents and joy that this holiday brings kids. You remember the feeling right? I am being transparent here. I never like people to know I am suffering but I feel like I have to write this out so that I can see my emotion in print. To validate it somehow. I don’t expect any other outcome other than just getting through it. But it helps to put this out in cyber world with the hopes that someone will maybe say a prayer for me.